Second Time Around by Sandrine Gasq-Dion

Author:Sandrine Gasq-Dion
Language: eng
Format: mobi, azw3, pdf
Published: 2012-12-09T23:00:00+00:00

My mom came to see me again the following day. I’d had just about enough visitors in the last twenty-four hours to last me a lifetime. My kids from class even came to visit. My mom sat in the chair next to the bed and tried to smile at me. God knows I scared her to death. I knew I was hurting her by not taking care of myself, I just didn’t know how to make myself hungry, to stop feeling the pain of losing Mav. My father stood by the door to the room and looked around nervously.

“I’m not going to explode, Dad.” I pushed the mashed potatoes around on my plate. There was something that looked like Salisbury steak on the plate along with the ugliest green beans I’d ever seen. The sauce - if that’s what you’d call it - congealed on the piece of meat. I was waiting for the steak to get up and walk away, maybe even eye me as it slithered off, appalled at my refusal to eat its awesomeness.

“I’m not sure about that, Ronin.” my dad said, raising a brow.

“Ronin, darling,” my mom started.

“Which one, Mom?” I asked with what I could only imagine looked like a grimace. I was going for a smile. My dad was Ronin Senior, which made me Junior. My father and I had fun with that one when I was younger.

“Jules,” my father held his hand up. “I’m done keeping quiet.”

“Really,Dad? But you’ve been so good at it all this time,” I snorted.

“I realize I haven’t been the best at accepting your sexuality, but I’ve never loved you less for it. I loved Maverick, too. He was like my own son.”

My head shot up at that. I’ve never heard my dad say anything like that about Maverick. I opened my mouth and my father raised his hand again.

“Let me get this out. Was I happy when you told us you were gay? Not really, but I got over it. You’re still my son and it’s killing me to watch you waste away. Maverick was a good man, and he would not want you slowly killing yourself. Dammit, Ronin! You are a strong man!”

I shoveled what looked like Jell-O into my mouth and glared at my father. “Does this make you happy? I was strong! Then Maverick died!”

“Are you angry?” my father asked.

“Fuck yes, I am!” I shouted. “He left me!” It took a second to process what I’d just said. I looked up at my father and felt the fucking tears coming again. “I…no…I didn’t mean that…”

My father came to my side and took my hands.

“It’s all right to be angry with him, Ronin.”

I shook my head and wiped at my eyes. “I don’t want to be. I don’t think I can do this, Dad,” I whispered.

“You can. Do you know how I know this?”

I shook my head.

“Because only a strong man could walk around in a woman’s high heels.”

I blinked. A smile spread across my face as my father winked at me.

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